Ryan went downtown and all you got was this lousy post
'Sup bitches? Okay, let me clear something up here: although I am a whore for comments [all bloggers are], I simply asked that you comment so I knew that people had read my last post before I wrote a new one. Why'd you have to get all up in my grill in my comments section?
Because I reached 10 comments so quickly, I decided to hold true to my word with a new post, I went to upload what will be the most shocking pictures yet on my blog, but Flickr is being a pain in the ass, so they'll have to wait. In the mean time I have a couple of open letters to write to my fellow subway riders on the TTC last night.
Dear man who spit while on the train:
I don't know where you were raised, but apparently you weren't educated on the difference between inside and outside. Let me help you out with the complexities of etiquette surrounding spitting: if you are not outside, it is NOT socially acceptable. If you were on the platform and you hawked onto the tracks, that would have been better, but you weren't. You were on the train. Sitting between an old woman and a young mother. Classy.
To the uniformed Catholic school-girl playing with devil sticks:
Do you remember when devil sticks were cool? Yeah, that was in '93. You missed the trend by 12 years. Fads will come and go, but Catholic school-girls hiking their skirts up to say "I'm religious and slutty" has stood the test of time, so at least you did something right.
Dear homeless woman who threw a half-full can of Pepsi at my head while screaming in jiberish:
Thanks. Your little act of crazy made my night.
Because I reached 10 comments so quickly, I decided to hold true to my word with a new post, I went to upload what will be the most shocking pictures yet on my blog, but Flickr is being a pain in the ass, so they'll have to wait. In the mean time I have a couple of open letters to write to my fellow subway riders on the TTC last night.
Dear man who spit while on the train:
I don't know where you were raised, but apparently you weren't educated on the difference between inside and outside. Let me help you out with the complexities of etiquette surrounding spitting: if you are not outside, it is NOT socially acceptable. If you were on the platform and you hawked onto the tracks, that would have been better, but you weren't. You were on the train. Sitting between an old woman and a young mother. Classy.
To the uniformed Catholic school-girl playing with devil sticks:
Do you remember when devil sticks were cool? Yeah, that was in '93. You missed the trend by 12 years. Fads will come and go, but Catholic school-girls hiking their skirts up to say "I'm religious and slutty" has stood the test of time, so at least you did something right.
Dear homeless woman who threw a half-full can of Pepsi at my head while screaming in jiberish:
Thanks. Your little act of crazy made my night.
posted by Ryan at 10:41 AM
13 Comments:
Wow, devil sticks. That's like back in the days of neon and pogs. And agreed on the spitting, unless you're a girl, and then, no, we don't spit. Unless maybe you're camping. Or have tuberculosis or something.
-steph
Spitting is gross no matter where it happens---and if it happens down South here, it's not just saliva, my friend, but tobaccy.
As for the devil sticks---leave me alone! It's the one thing I can do that no one else can. Don't ruin it for me!
Hey,
fantastic. I think that you made up the part about the crazy lady throwing the can of pop at you. thats just too much. But it made for a nice story.
You are sooooooo right! How about one for the door-blockers: There are only two directions in which you can go when you enter the subway; why, oh why is it so difficult to make that decision door-blockers? And why do you have to make it while standing in my way?!
7:45 PM
Well Ryan, apparently no one caught on to the little innuendo you discovered... I must say I'm a little disappointed.
-steph
1) Anson, I'm NOT making it up, the same lady is often at King and University infront of St. Andrew's Church - we should go one night so she can use us for target practice - she was a lousy shot.
2) Steph - glad to hear girls don't spit. Better?
Hahhahaha yes.
Thanks for bringing the A game. It brought a smile to my coughing face today, and since I'm so frickin sick it hurt, but it was worth it. So yes, I will put away the laugh-o-death ray-o-matic machine until later. The world is safe for now. And you forgot to mention the 4 highschool guys who wouldn't give up their seat to an old woman if she paid them. Some people....
i must say that while i harrassed you to post, i dont think it necessitates the use of the term "bitches".... that cut deep ryan. watch yourself.
Hey Hoser,
Devil sticks rule the world roomie, so you can suck it ok? Also, where's the post about shopping carts and coughing amigos? Also, you miss me. Peace.
Nate
please don't swear in your posts
you know how i feel about curse words.
hilarious. I think I actually laughed out loud. Good stuff Ryan.
BITCHES.
i like it. ryan i think if you sware more it will be good for business.
slut.
christoph
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